I was in such a good mood this morning. Woke up early, went to yoga, checked some things off of the to do list, and felt optimistic about life and my career path.
And then, there was this build up of anger throughout the afternoon and evening. Usually I wouldn’t just feel this angry, but this time, it was like I was anger, and my skin just conveniently held it together until I would eventually explode. I’m so glad I didn’t.
Whenever I get upset about something, I would try to exercise or listen to music. Anything to let the heat fizzle out and switch the emotion with something better. And whenever I do this, I gain perspective on what is making me upset in the first place and what I can do about it. It always works.
This time, I went from Vlogbrothers videos to Postmodern Jukebox song covers, and that led me to watching Hozier’s music video for Take Me to Church for the first time. Doing anything late at night isn’t really a good thing for me, and with anything that would make me upset… Well, that’s just disastrous. (I remember watching clips of the saddest moments from Disney movies at like midnight, and just sobbing in my armchair for what felt like an hour. Like, what the hell? Why did I do that?) And what happened in this video was just awful. Hatred is… Well, I hate it.
But the video certainly put into perspective the problems that I had earlier today. Funny (for lack of a better word) how learning about universal hardships and horrifying real life problems always makes me shut up about what’s going wrong in my first world life. So, for that I am grateful.
But I have to wonder whether I will explode someday. And what will happen if I do.