In a post from last month I gave my opinion that relationships are either 1 + 1 = 2 or half +half = whole. For a while after that, I honestly believed that the healthy relationships follow the first formula. You have two complete, independent people who come together in an equal partnership. You share successes and failures with each other. You team up for life’s adventures. You’re happy together, but happy on your own. And it all works out.
Recently, though, I’m not sure when I’ll ever get to that point in my life. I felt incomplete, and that I’m missing something. And now, instead of reverting back to the fact that it’s because I’m not in a relationship, I’m looking at the big picture. I’m asking myself whether I feel complete with my work, my other relationships, my passions and interests, and with myself as a being. The scary thing is that the answer is no, I don’t.
It’s weird, though. Before, I saw this as a matter of my eventual growth and maturity into a whole and complete person. I was just becoming, instead of being. And lately, it was getting more difficult to find ways to propel that growth and put myself back into the perspective of being on an evolving journey. Because life is a journey, and we’re all going to continue with our own development. I suppose the difficulty comes with growth.
This lovely article from Tiny Buddha called, “How to Shine Your Light, Even When You Don’t Feel Whole,” has helped me get myself out of the funk of feeling incomplete. It made me realize that it’s okay if I’m nowhere near 100%. I don’t have to feel obligated to reach that level, or a state of completeness. I can focus on what makes me happy and good, and work on sharing that with others.
We all have highs and lows, ebbs and flows. The trick is to find your inner joy, your inner light, during the times you don’t feel whole, and to gain perspective and become grounded during the times that you do. It’s a tough balancing act, and it’s all part of the journey.
I hope that my thoughts have somehow helped you with yours.