I read this ThoughtCatalog article last week, and it really made me think about what it means to find “the one.” I haven’t read anything from ThoughtCatalog in a couple of years, partly since I lost interest in the posts and partly because Buzzfeed came around. Nevertheless, I still find really thoughtful content on TC and thought I’d share it.
The author is right: you can be “the one” for yourself. One thing that took me a while to truly get is that you should and need to become as complete and interesting a person as you can. And in order to do that, the notion that another person will complete you should be thrown out the window.
It’s really difficult to do this. We’re conditioned to feel that we need one special person to make our lives worthwhile: a soul mate, a better half – or just the other half. Women especially feel this pressure to find that person. And I bet that this doesn’t always happen. Not to be pessimistic – I know that there are countless stories of magical partnerships – but I just want to point out that we shouldn’t be letting ourselves feel this kind of pressure to find fulfillment in another person. It’s not fair to us, and especially not fair to that other person.
So, I say we spread this feeling of fulfillment to the other parts of our lives: family, friends, work, career, spirituality, religion, travel, hobbies, passions… there are so many things that can make us feel complete and happy. And we can work on these things instead of waiting to find that person. As Uncle Iroh said, “life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not.”