Imposter Syndrome, Part Three

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
– Marianne Williamson

I made a post on Thoughtful Minds United about not feeling good enough. This is something that everybody comes across at least once a year. For me, it’s about once a month. (Whenever I don’t have a job, it happens once a week or more often.) Before, I had thought that this was abnormal, that I was still deeply insecure about myself and my (in)abilities. Now, after reflecting on this imposter syndrome and how common it is in people, I don’t think that feeling inadequate once a month is wrong. That’s the thing about feelings: they’re never wrong.

Sure, they often suck. Feelings are pretty damn awful and can get in the way of you living your life. But feelings are a part of life and you need all of them to live a full life (as you find out in Inside Out – great movie!). The unpleasant feelings are especially good at letting you know what’s actually going on inside your head, or in your subconscious, or in your heart or soul. Are you feeling insecure? Maybe you’re really afraid of taking a risk in your career. Are you feeling lonely? Maybe you’re sad that you haven’t made a meaningful connection in a while. Maybe you’re afraid of getting hurt if you try to make such a connection.

I find that fear is often an underlying emotion, at least with me. It takes some digging, but whenever I get pangs of loneliness or inadequacy, I discover that they’re both fueled by fear. I’m afraid of being alone and not being understood or loved. I’m afraid of not living up to the expectations that others have for me or to the dreams I have for myself. And fear is a powerful thing.

I’ve even felt afraid of what will happen once I make more changes to become that person I want to be – even if it means becoming a better person. Yes, I am afraid of being great. I am afraid that I’ll be so successful that I won’t be myself again and I’ll lose my family and friends.

So what happens when fear takes over?

You meet it with curiosity and patience. You don’t hide from it, push it away, or bring another emotion to distract yourself from it. Because it’ll still be there to haunt you until you fully and authentically acknowledge it. And when you do, you can learn from it. You can push on, walk run crawl go forward – as long as you keep going. You can take breaks when needed. But giving up on finding that fulfillment and holding on to it? Not an option.

Easier said than done, obviously, but I’m working on it. Are you?

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

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5 thoughts on “Imposter Syndrome, Part Three

  1. It is great how you examined fear from all sides. I have many definitions of fear. Fear is the absence of love (trust). Fear is a sign that we are ready to discover new territories. When we face fear we see clear, if it was only an invention of our mind or a gut feeling that shows us the path. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Imposter Syndrome, Part One | Story-Sharing for a Better World

  3. Pingback: Imposter Syndrome, Part Two | Story-Sharing for a Better World

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