(R)Evolving Friends

I haven’t had a Best Friend in a while. The last time was during high school, which was actually the beginning of my reputation of having a lot of close friends and being the parent in the group. I’ve always been proud that I was and still am able to make close friends and continue adding more wonderful people to my life. But the thing about having a bunch of people close to you is that you kind of don’t have specific people who are close with you, you know?

I mean, I do call several peeps “my best friends,” because they are. A lot of them I’ve known since my elementary school days, which is all kinds of awesome and rare. I really value their friendship and what they’ve done for me.

But, we’re growing up, and somewhat growing apart. I suppose it’s a natural process and a part of life, but I’m not sure whether I’m more earnest and excited to find more of my tribe or more scared of and resistant to this change. I remember during my grade 12 class – either religion or philosophy, I can’t recall that clearly – my teacher had said that the friends we have now will likely disappear from our lives. We won’t be friends forever, essentially. And I had thought to myself, “no way, we’re going to be friends forever.” Little did I know. Little did we know.

And I’m becoming more okay with that with each passing day. We’ve all had big and small life changes, but they’ve all been significant in their own way. New jobs, new places to call home, new discoveries about oneself… and of course, new important people.

I’m not necessarily saying that we should go forth expecting our school-age friendships to fail. Not at all. I’m just saying that people come to your life for a reason and for a season. Friends will help you and love you, and they leave you. Some more quickly than others. And those others may never actually leave. I guess you just find out which ones those are throughout the years. Those are the golden friends: you’ve gone through so much together, and yes, your friendship and relationship have changed. These ‘ships have changed to accommodate who you all have become – and for some strange reason, y’all still love each other.

And as for a Best Friend? Well, it’d still be nice to have one. I’ve always thought that whenever I get a boyfriend, he would be my Best Friend. But then I think about all of the articles I’ve read and the conversations I’ve had, and maybe that wouldn’t be the best thing. I might expect too much from him. And that’s a whole other set of expectations that we shouldn’t have.

So maybe it’s best to stick with my group of ever-evolving and ever-changing friends. And maybe continue to be my own best friend, since it’s brought me close to so many wonderful people.

Advertisements